No Brow Bro
The body is a wondrous creation. We know that it is composed of countless vital, interdependent parts, however there are a few parts that can get one wondering just what God had in mind when he added them on.
Take for instance the appendix. What was he thinking when he tacked that little dangly thing onto a corner of the intestine? A person can easily live without it, but do something to annoy it – and no one knows exactly what it is that annoys an appendix – and you could certainly die from it. We almost lost a daughter that way. She was saved by the expert hands of a surgeon. We are eternally grateful.
One day while visiting friends, our sons Eddie and Stanley found themselves contemplating the value of yet another body part. What, they wondered, were eyebrows for? You could wiggle them, raise and lower them, and some folks could even raise one and lower the other at the same time. Some men had wild bushy brows, and for reasons far beyond the understanding of lads of 17, some women actually plucked their eyebrows. Sure they are interesting additions to the face, but it is doubtful that a person would die from an inflamed eyebrow.
The musings continued and one thing led to the next and before you knew it, the razor blade came out. What, they wondered, would a person look like without eyebrows?
When they arrived home, I greeted the lads with a hug, took a step or two away, and paused. They were grinning.
“What?” I demanded.
“Notice anything different Mom?”
I confess that it took me a moment or two before I figured out what was different about Eddie. He looked like an alien who didn’t quite get his earth disguise right. His ears and nose were there, but where were the brows?
What began as a simple lark one lazy afternoon had long lasting effects. Those brows took quite some time to grow back in, during which time he gained notoriety at high school as “the kid with no brows.”
One thing that Eddie had not anticipated was the fact that his look was always deadpan. Try looing surprised or angry with no eyebrows.
Always there to help in times of trouble, his siblings gathered and soon fixed the problem – with a felt pen.
“How are you feeling today Eddie?” They would ask, and then they’d get to work. Some days he had the surprised brows that shot up into his hair like two exclamation marks. Other times the black lines came down to meet menacingly at the bridge of his nose. Horizontal lines were the determined look meant for math exams.
If he couldn’t make up his mind, he might end up with “the combo” – one arched and one normal brow – that made him look like he was thinking “oh really?” all day long.
As amusing as it was to keep the artists in the family busy, Eddie denied their advances with the razor when the eyebrows finally did reappear. It took about a week until there was any sign of a whisker over the eye. It was almost a month before one could identify a pattern that resembled an eyebrow.
Some time later I caught my husband Greg exiting the bathroom with an amused grin on his face. “What now?” I asked.
“He’s in there with a razor,” Greg said. In answer to my worried look he added, “Don’t worry. This time he’s searching for a legitimate whisker to attack with it. He claims he found one on his chin. Better get the Band-Aids ready.”